The Least Interesting Man in the World

My Famous Artist at Work

2011-01-18T14:43:00.000-06:00

Stream of Consciousness

2010-05-20T22:23:00.000-05:00

I am alive, though I haven't been spending nearly as much time on my blog or on Facebook. IT consulting work has been keeping me busy and with Erika working either a night shift or an early morning shift, we don't see each other much during the week, and sometimes the weekend, so Arianna keeps my hands full when I get home from my job.

I am very proud of Erika -- she was promoted to Lab Supervisor. She still has to work some early and late shifts, but no more weekends, which will be tremendous. It would be nice to see my wife (or see her awake) two full days a week. We've been like ships crossing in the night.

On a complete non-sequitur, I need to type up my review of "Pride and Prejudice: The Musical" to keep a promise to my friend Jamie. I have it written in my journal, I just need to type it up and post it. I'd start transcribing tonight, but my journal is in the garage, and I don't have my shoes and socks on. Since we're in an old house, there's no attached garage for me to sneak into in my stocking feet.

Arianna has a new obsession -- cat fur. She loves our cats; kisses and hugs them all the time, but if there is cat fur on the floor, or worse yet, on her clothes, she will tell you very loudly "CAT FUR, PAPA, THERE!" and will not rest until it has been picked up and thrown away to her satisfaction.

Entertainment-wise, I am in a pulpy mood this week. With all of the analytical IT work right now, I like relaxing my brain as I am winding down right now. I am reading Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, which is just a silly good time. Since the Sox and the Cubs are doing a great job of making me not want to watch terrible baseball, I've been watching "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys" on Netflix Watch Now before I go to bed at night. So campy, so silly, so dumb, and so entertaining.

Well, its time for me to fill some overnight sippy cups and head up to bed. I promise to have a theme to my next blog entry.

Fun Weekend Ahead

2010-04-08T12:18:00.003-05:00

The nice thing about Thursdays is that you can start thinking about the weekend, and we have a fun weekend ahead. On Saturday we are having our long-planned and oft-delayed Sushi and Bowling Night with friends. I thought we were being original until I saw a more famous couple making the same combination of food and entertainnment themselves. (This will make my friend Jenn happy):

Then, on Sunday we are going to see "Clash of the Titans" with an old and dear friend of mine who I have not seen since high school. Thanks, Facebook for being there to help ld freinds get back in touch with each other.

The best part about life? Living!

Happy Easter!

2010-04-04T09:07:00.000-05:00

Happy Easter to one and all! We are looking forward to our afternoon feast with our families.

Weekend Epicurean Adventures

2010-03-28T22:42:00.003-05:00

One thing that Erika and I really enjoy doing together is going to restaurant and enjoying a good meal. Since we first took Arianna to Culvers when she was three days old, she's quite a good girl in restaurants, and though we sometimes have to eat quickly, it is not because of a pending meltdown. She likes to sing and cheer in restaurants, so its very cute and we make sure that she is not kicking the table or screaming. She can amuse herself quite nicely with paper, crayons, sugar packets, and a little towers of creamer.

We try to avoid fast food except when we are tired or in the middle of a road trip because we figure if we are going to spend money eating out, to do it at places we enjoy. Today we had a two-restaurant day. We had breakfast at Chuck's Southern Comfort Cafe. I tried something new -- sweet potato pancakes which were quite tasty. They are chewy like a crepe, but have the thickness of a pancake and a taste that goes well with real maple syrup. Erika had huevos motulodos with eggs over-easy. They looked and smelled delicious. Arianna ate a medley of banana, pancakes, and cereal. Chuck's is quickly becoming our Sunday breakfast place.

We then decided for Thai food for dinner. Thai is my favorite of the Asian cuisines, and it turns out there is a good Thai place in a strip-mall on 123rd & Harlem called Thai Smile. We had pad stickers and chicken rice soup for appetizers, while I had spicy chili chicken and Erika had cashew chicken with pineapple for the main course. Arianna was watching Wow Wow Wubzy and singing along to the Wubb Girls.

On Saturday, we went to the Taj Mahal Indian & Pakistani Restaurant in Orland Park. I've not had Indian food in a long time. Erika ate for the lunch buffet while I ordered Frontier chicken from the menu. It was all very delicious and it was nice to have Indian food that was not dry ans tasteless like the last few times I've had trired it. I guess I needed to go to a good Indian restaurant.

All in all, it was an excellent culinary weekend. Erika and I really enjoy a little bit of the Epicurean life, and it is fun to introduce our daughter to new places to eat and new cuisines to try. Even if she doesn't eat them now, she'll never remember a time in her life without them. She in an anthropologist's daughter, after all.

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Poverty is Not a Game

2010-03-27T10:13:00.002-05:00

There are many people, like my sister-in-law, where living frugally is not a game, it is a fact of life because of poverty. We help them because it is the right thing to do, but I say this because I get really annoyed at those people of means who "deprive" themselves of things to make them feel oh-so-superior to other folks, and turn a blind eye to the fact that for many many many Americans, they live the real "simple life" because they have no choice: Poverty is Not a Game

If you can be moved into paralysis because your four-slice toaster takes up too much space in your kitchen or you can't decide what kind of new car to buy, you are not poor and you are not noble for your self-sacrifice. You are selfish and blind to the world around you.

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Here's My High School Years in a Nutshell

2010-03-22T21:39:00.003-05:00

Would you rather be a Progressive or a Conservative?

2010-03-22T21:27:00.007-05:00

The Far Right needs a history lesson. The Right opposed the Revolution, the Emancipation Proclamation, the 13-15th Amendments, TR's trust busting & national parks, anything FDR, Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Civil Rights legislation, and the end of Jim Crow. You are irrelevant.

Cleaning Gimic or the Best Idea Ever?

2010-03-19T22:40:00.003-05:00

I report, you decide.

I Love Paper Towels

2010-03-19T21:50:00.010-05:00

Arianna loves watching this video with me. She keeps saying, "Play Paper Towel Song. Good song, Papa!"

The Only Thing I Hate is Hate

2010-03-19T15:55:00.003-05:00

Kojak

2010-03-18T23:31:00.003-05:00

One thing I really love about Kojak is that all of the car crashes end in fireballs!

Driving to the Moon

2010-03-17T20:41:00.004-05:00

Arianna and I were outside tonight looking at the sky and she told me, "Papa, let's take red car to the moon."

I love my little dreamer.

For All of the Working Moms

2010-03-17T20:15:00.005-05:00

For all of you Moms who have to go to work each day and the sadness that I know you feel, I share this, courtesy of my sister-in-law, Evelyn. And, or course, to the grandparents who shower their grandchildren with love.

Maggie and Mildred from Holly Klein on Vimeo.

Protecting Your Family from Smut

2010-03-16T20:34:00.005-05:00

If you're like me, you want to protect your family against the more vial and revolting parts of the internet. If you're not confident going into your router and blocking web addresses, or if you have a cable-company provided router that doesn't have those features, here's a nice piece of open source software to block unwanted sites:

K9 Web Protection

An alternative on all versions of Windows is to edit your c:\windows\system32\drivers\etc\HOSTS file and append the file by pointing the offending sites to 127.0.0.1 and you'll never see them again, but K9 is nice if you don't like to edit system files.

After all, life's too short to put up with the darker corners of the internet and the strange personalities that lurk there.

Life is Good

2010-03-16T19:24:00.000-05:00

I came home tonight and went out onto my deck and grilled up some chicken and ate pretzels with Arianna. Erika working second shift may be harder on us, but it means that Arianna gets to be with her parents that much more.

The Mystery of the Dead Cat

2010-03-16T14:24:00.003-05:00

I really enjoy the HBO miniseries, "From the Earth to the Moon" and I really enjoyed the episode, "Galileo Was Right," especially this piece of dialog:

Lee Silver: "Geology is like solving the Mystery of the Dead Cat. If you bring me a dead cat, all I can tell you is that it's dead and it was once a cat. But, if you bring me a dead cat and tell me you found it in the middle of the road, what killed it?"

Jim Irwin: "A car?"

Fred Haise: "A truck?"

Dave Scott: "Heat prostration?"

Lee Silver: "Now you're getting it. OK, if you find the dead cat in the kitchen of your favorite restaurant, what killed it?"

Jim Irwin: "The Chef?"

Lee Silver: "What are we talking about here, Jack?"

Jack Schmidt: "Context."

Dave Scott: "Context?"

Lee Silver: "Context. The difference between road kill and a meal."

Life’s Too Short to Not Enjoy a Good Meal

2010-03-08T16:57:00.008-06:00

Erika and I went out on our first real date Saturday afternoon & evening (dinner and a show) since Arianna was born. I can be quite the girl, enjoying both historical dramas and musical theater, so when I saw the there was to be a three-day engagement of “Pride & Prejudice: The New Musical” a month ago, I thought that this would be a nice night out with my lovely bride. I had also promised to take her to either Rick Bayless’s Xoco or Frontera Grill for, literally, three years. Thus a plan was hatched – dinner and legitimate theater.

My parents came by at 3:00PM, though scheduled to come at 4:00PM, because they have been battling a mighty mouse/rat in their house, and after trapping it, poisoning it, having a cat attack it, shooting it with a Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle BB gun with a compass in the stock and a thing which tells time, and still seeing this beast live, my Mom wanted to get out of Dodge ASAP.

At about 3:45, we headed out to go eat at Xoco. The drive up there was uneventful, and parking was easy to find. As we were waiting for the parking garage elevator to take us down to the ground floor, I saw a small Cuban bistro across the street and thought to myself, we both love Cuban food. We should check it out sometime.

Rick Bayless’s food empire of Topalobampo, Frontera Grill, and Xoco take up the length of a city block on Clark Street up to Hubbard. The line to get into Frontera stretched a block long, but we thought – They open for dinner at 5:00PM, so we should be OK with Xoco, instead. It is, after all, street food, and tacos and tortas and sopas don’t take that long to cook, so we rounded the corner and so a short line out the door for Xoco.

Thankfully, there was the Big Fat Guy Who Talked Who Eats Here All the Time and Talks Too Loud and Too Much standing in front of us. I’d been to Xoco once before, and knew there were too lines – one for take-out and one for sit-down. For those folks who moved past him for take-out he told each one of them in a voice as loud and as obnoxious as possible, “Just to let you know, if I go in there and see you sitting down at a table, I will be very pissed off.” After hearing this for the fifth time, it sort of lost its charm.

We finally heard that the wait to sit down once you got past the doors to the counter was another hour. It was already 5:15, and we had our show at 7:30, so we decided to abandon the line which hadn’t moved more than three feet in the half an hour we were in it. We decided to try the wait at Frontera. Xoco is good, but it is street food, and if I want tacos and tortas, I’ll head over to Zacatacos on 71st & Pulaski. JI don’t wait two hours for tacos.

The line for Frontera has all gotten inside by the time we rounded the corner, so Erika asked what the wait time was. They said it was “only” two to two-and-a-half hours. Well, that wasn’t going to work. We had been talking about the Cuban bistro that I saw from the parking lot and figured, why not try that out?

It’s called Havana Pan American Grill & Mojito Bar, and they deserve the publicity. Here’s their URL: http://havanachicago.com/. It is not a large place – very long and narrow, but when we walked in it also wasn’t packed, and they had tables. When you have Rick Bayless across the street, you have all the tourists flocking there, so there is some breathing room for the smaller spots just across the street. When we walked in, we saw two other groups of four that we had recognized as coming from the lines that we also walked out on. After we were seated, we recognized another three couples from the Bayless lines. I realized that this place was brilliant in its location. Put a Latin American Bistro that focuses on a similar, but different, cuisine across the street from the place with the three hour lines and you’ll get folks who are looking for good food without the long wait. Then word of mouth will bring them back and bring other people in. it works as long as the food, drinks, and service are good.

And not only was it good, it was superb. The waitress was very friendly, and the bus boy refilled out water and bussed our table quickly. We ordered chicken empanadas for an appetizer, which for those who don’t’ know is sort of a really good hand held pot pie. Think a Hot Pocket, except good. Erika loved the guacamole that came with it, while I really enjoyed the salsa which was sweet at fist and then became smoky and a little warm as you kept eating it. It was two thumbs up on the appetizers.

Next, the main course. Erika ordered a Cuban grilled steak and I ordered apricot-chipotle pork chops. Erika’s steak was so soft and flavorful that it literally melted in her mouth. She sometimes has trouble with steak because so many places cook it too fast and too hot which makes the meat tough. This was the first restaurant steak she has enjoyed since Howard’s Steak House in Gatlinburg, TN. My pork chops were also superb – the apricot-chipotle salsa was again sweet, hot, and smoky as you ate it and the pork chops were cooked moist, which is always nice. Again, the last time I enjoyed pork chops in a restaurant was Dionysius on Southwest Highway & Harlem in Worth. I find so many places cook pork too fast and too hot making it dry and tough. Here, the meat was cooked so well, and I really enjoyed it. So, two more thumbs up for the main course.

As a side dish, we had the fried platanos with brown sugar. These banana chips came out so hot that the brown sugar was caramelizing on the plate. It was a generous serving – one order was enough for the both of us. The sweetness made a nice counterbalance to the spice and heat of our meats, and we saved a few for our deserts. They were terrific, and get another two thumbs up.

I nearly forgot the drinks. As I was driving and have gout, I stay away from alcohol most of the time now, but Erika will still take an occasional drink. She ordered a pina colada, and judging from her giggling and laughing, the drink was a success. I had iced tea. I got refills without having to ask, so two more thumbs up on the drinks.

Finally, dessert, without which a meal is not complete. Erika ordered strawberries if homemade cream, and I ordered a chocolate volcano cake. Both were quite tasty and just the right size after a large meal. Mixing the fruit and cake in with our left-over plantains made it even nicer. We didn’t do coffee or espresso, since neither one of us is a coffee drinker, but the deserts were very yummy. A final pair of thumbs up.

So, there you have it. The service was great, the food was great, the ambiance was great, and I would go there again. The nice thing about not being stuck to rigid plans is to have some fun if Plan A and Plan B go awry, and try something else. By not getting angry that the Xoco and Frontera were packed, we found a great little restaurant and had a wonderful time not rushing through our meal, and still had time to make it up to the musical. Life truly is the journey, not the destination.

All in all, we spent about $95, including tip. I couldn’t afford it everyday, but when you take the love of your life out on a date, life is too short not to have a great meal.

Next up: My review of “Pride & Prejudice: The Musical".

Ethernet Over Power Lines

2010-02-15T17:52:00.000-06:00

Techie geek post warning -- The new AT&T box is on the first floor and my desktop is on the second floor. The desktop is also where I store all of our multimedia that I stream to the other TV's over the PlayStations. Being lazy, I didn't want to run network cable from my office down to the dining room, and my PS3 Media server won't recognize wireless cards -- It has to go through a wired network card, so I went out and decided to try Netgear's Ethernet over power lines adapters. I plugged them into my standard A/C outlets, and now I've got broadband over my house's power lines. I wish I had an electric toothbrush to see if I would get internet access in my fillings when brushing

Antique Store Find #2: Why Maps are Better than GPS Edition

2010-02-06T17:58:00.000-06:00

Back at the Castle Antique Mall, I found more than just a video game. In my many ways to spend money, another thing I really love is old maps. I got to know Erika a lot better when she was my geology TA by having her help me draw up topographical maps of the Starved Rock area. I swear, there were no ulterior motives.

So, while wondering around with my N64 cartridge, I saw a basket of old maps. Now, GPS is all fine and good I suppose, but one thing you will never get from them is a sense of history. All GPS does is tell you how to get from here to there, but you cannot look back at your GPS and say, wow, look at how the roads have changed, isn't amazing how much has or has not altered over the years? When your an amateur anthropologist-geologist-historian, that is the really interesting thing. Plus, knowing how to read maps and road-signs means I don't have to depend on a gadget to get from place to place. Plus, I have discovered more cool things "getting lost" on my way to somewhere that I may never have discovered had I just been focused on getting from Point A to Point B.

However, I digress. Going through the basket, two maps from 1955 that were in really good shape and a buck each, were CTA maps. One is a system map, and is your complete guide to the buses, street cars, L's, and subways of the CTA, and the other is a guide to riding the L.

It's fun to see what has changed. Just a few: What is now the O'Hare branch of the Blue Line stopped at Logan Square. The Dan Ryan Branch of the Red Line didn't exist. Obviously, the Orange Line was still forty years away. The 49A South Western Route lists street cars, not buses. What is now the Green Line used to go all the way east to 63rd and Stony Island. You can also see the Congress and Orchard Expressways, before they became the Eisenhower and Kennedy. It's just a lot of fun to look at old maps and get a sense of the history there, especially of something of which you are so familiar. You don't get that with a GPS.

To close of this blog, here's a nice picture of the CTA map looking at Evergreen Park. Today, you could take the 87 87th Street Bus, the 52A South Kedzie Bus, the Pace 381 95th Street Bus, or the 95W 95th Street Bus to get to our village. Back in 1955 the only difference, right down to the route names, was that there was no 95th St. Bus west of Western -- no equivalent to the 381. But my folks will probably tell me that there wasn't much west of Western on 95th St. in 1955, anyway.

Antique Store Find #1: The Brett Favre Edition

2010-02-06T17:31:00.002-06:00

Today we headed down to Bourbonnais (which, yes, is located next to Bourbon-B) and went antique shopping. We headed to the Castle Antique Mall which is always a pleasant 60 degrees with half the lights turned off so that the owners can save money, but there are usually some cool things to find there. First up is a find that is really geared toward my friend Jamie, who is without a doubt the biggest Brett Favre fan that I know.

It's an Nintendo 64 NFL Quarterback Club 2000 cartridge, with Old Number 4 on the label back in his glory days with Green Bay. As the three readers of this blog now, I really enjoy collecting old video games consoles and games. I also enjoy the old Acclaim-era sports games before Madden took over and made playing video game football about as fun as an actual trip to Pittsburgh. Back in the late nineties, I was playing NFL Gameday on the PlayStation 1, and now I have the Nintendo-era equivalent to go along with it. As you can see it was only $4, so I can have fun with a Green Bay roster that can go 16-0. I am sure the Bears team will be lousy, because they are, well, the Bears.

Thrift Store Find #2

2010-01-31T22:47:00.003-06:00

The thrift store excitement doesn't end with Bumblebee, oh no sir. That was the find Erika brought home last Sunday. This Saturday, we all three went to the Village Outlet thrift store on 62nd & Kedzie. Erika found some nice toys for Arianna which she posted on her blog, Arianna's Universe. I wondered around and found a PlayStation One. This was the second, much smaller, version on the original PlayStation, and the one where you didn't have to flip it upside down and put a boot on it so it would actually play the game without skipping.

You see, I love to collect old video game consoles. I like emulation for its ease, but there really is something about playing games on the original consoles and controllers that you just don't get in emulation. I have many of my old machines from Sega and Nintendo hooked up on my basement TV, but that is for another entry in the future. (nothing like titillating your readers.)

Back to this PSOne -- It had its video cable, but I saw the AC adapter they had attached to it was the wrong voltage and polarity so I couldn't go to an outlet and see if it would turn on. But it was also marked at $6.20 with it's tag color being 50% off that day. I figured for $3.10 + tax, if it didn't work it would still be a nice museum piece for my collection, as I had never had this version of the original PlayStation.

Today, I cleaned up a little bit first (it was a lot more filthy than you see in these pictures, and I will clean it up some more), and pulled out a universal AC adapter I bought for my Sega Game Gear. I hooked it up to the TV and plugged it in and it powered up with no problem at all. By shear coincidence, I picked up a box of olf PS1 games from my parents' house last week when Arianna and I went over for a visit. I dropped in a few of the games and plugged in a PS2 controller, and the little guy works like a champ. I even found an old PS1 memory card, too.

What a fun find -- An old console to match the old games I just find at my parents and a way to keep my collection jones going for under $5! Now, I know the PS2 can play all of the PS1 games, but as I said, there is something fun about playing them on their original consoles. Besides, I have no video game machine in my upstairs office, so it will find a home up there.

Thirft Store Find #1

2010-01-31T22:28:00.000-06:00

In a blatant rip-off of my lovely wife's Weekend Picture Project, I am going to post pictures of objects as well. Since I lack her eye with a camera, I am going to focus on thrift store finds and write up a little story about them. It is sure to be exciting.

So, the first find comes from Erika. She brought home this little treasure for 50 cents:

I am a big fan or Transformers, but don't collect them as much as I did in the past. Still, I search for finds now in resale shops and antique stores. We once found fifteen G1 transformers in fantastic condition at an antique shop in LaPorte, Indiana, including Megatron and Shockwave. I haven't been able to duplicate this find, but here is the latest.

This is a Transformers Animated Bumblebee "Heroes" (Basic Level). It's got tight joint and no paint wear, and I gave it to Arianna to add to her collection of cars. It's in nice shape, and fostering a love of Transformers iin my daughter is worth it, I think.

Here he is in robot mode, looking all Bumblebee-y. Not much in the way of paint application, but a nice little toy for my daughter and when it only costs 50 cents, what can you complain about? it's the fun of hunting for Transformers that makes it exciting, especially when you find them in thrift stores. It's a cheap hobby for this out-of-work dad.

Adventures at MSI

2010-01-31T19:41:00.001-06:00

One of the really nice things about being laid off from work, is spending time traveling around with Arianna. Last Thursday we took advantage of a free day at the Museum of Science and Industry. Here are two shots of her playing in the water at Kid Zone. (If you look closely, you'll see I had to change shirts between the shots because she got so drenched.)

She enjoyed the water fun, as well as the Navy and U-505 exhibit. She did not like the Fairy Castle. (You can tell she is my daughter with a love of German U-Boats, but not interested in doll houses.). We then spent some time watching the model railroad and climbing up into the old trains. From there, it was a trip to the balcony to look at the airplanes. By that time, she was exhausted, so she got back into her stroller for the first time all day and off we went back home.

The only slight downer to the trip was that I promised her ice cream at the ice cream parlor in the Old Town exhibit, only to see that during the winter is is only open on the weekends. She still had fun running down the brick cobblestone streets, so she quickly forgot about her sadness of not getting ice cream.

I think that I'll take her to a museum every few weeks and post up our adventures. I'll also make sure to bring along the good Canon Elph camera so I have got some better snapshots than these blurry cell phone images.

Why I get Annoyed with Bad Science

2009-05-22T07:21:00.000-05:00

As my anthropology friends know, I went on many a rant on the "I am not going to vaccinate my kid because that will give him autism" crowd. These are usually the same folks who believe that hospital birthings are bad and you should only have "natural" home child birth, though anyone who has taken any human physiology will tell you, the fact that the human head is so large that the baby has to be manually rotated out of the birth canal, unlike any other mammal, makes our birthing process incredibly difficult.

Anyway, I was reading the Tribune this morning and I read this: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-autism-doctor-eisenstein-may22,0,3826791.story

Junk science makes bad medicine. All the "alternative therapies" in the world don't save and extend the millions and millions of lives of scientific "Western" medicine. Maybe it's because Arianna was born a blue baby and would have been a dead baby with a home birth that I take this so personally, but to all of you brainwashed by the far-too-many quacks and charlatans out there, just pause and think about what agenda are those people pushing.

- Mike

Arianna firsts

2009-04-25T18:04:00.000-05:00

Enough with the cultural anthropology rants, time to go back to what is really important in my life: Arianna.

Arianna has had some amazing developments, both physical and mental over the past two months. Fist, the mental: She can now recite the alphabet from A to Z. Some of the letters are hard for her to say, like 'L' and 'W', which comes out "dooblaboo" but she can say them all in order. If you hold up her magnetic letters and ask her what letter, she can tell you what they are. It's very exciting for her to know the alphabet so well before she is even two! She can also now count from one to ten, and if you hold up her magnetic numbers, she will tell you what they are, too. Her color identification has improved, too. She says red, blue, and purple well, and can sy the other colors, even if the pronunciation is a little toddler-ish. if you hold up a number or letter and ask her what number / letter, she'll tell you that, and if you sk her the color of the letter / number, she'll tell you that.

She has new phrases like, "It went way" (It went away), "Where's Joe?" (she loves Joe-era Blue's Clues. "It back on." (When a show she likes comes on TV). Here favorite phrases right now are "Where is ", "Where'd it go?" and "What happened?" She asks for juice specifically as opposed to teta, her Spanish word for a bottle of milk. She also asks for cheese, choc-wet, huevos, cheese, and cookies specifically.

Over on the physical side, she LOVES to play outside in our yard and running in the grass. She's learned to slide down stairs on her but and yesterday afternoon while we were playing in the backyard, she held on to the railing of the deck and walked down the stairs for the first time unassisted! It was very exciting when we realized that on our next trip to Tennessee (my sanctuary) in late September, that she will be going up and down the stairs on her own. Our little girl keeps growing and I am so happy even with my horrendous schedule, that I have not missed many of her "firsts".

I have to go back to writing papers, and I know what a hard job Erika has with me gone for 15 hours a day for so many days for school and work, but I am looking forward to completing school so much more than ever before, and no longer for my own personal satisfaction, but because I want to be there always for Erika and Arianna. Te amo muy mucho to both of you.

Broadening my Critique of Cultural Anthropology

2009-04-25T11:09:00.000-05:00

Cultural Anthropology as it stands today, does not provide answers to me, and its self-reflexive obsession threatens to drive the discipline into further irrelevance.

Sociology, psychology, psychiatry -- these are all other disciples that study the human mind and culture, for their own perspectives, but they also all base their studies of the biochemistry that runs our brains. My point is, human beings are big brained apes. The brain is an amazing biomechanical computer, but that is what it is -- a big wet sponge that's great for conducting tiny electrical impulses that are thought.

I wasn't arguing that hard science can find laws for culture -- because I don't believe laws of culture exist. Cultural anthropology has created vast structures of culture (like habitus) that cannot be quantified, studied, proven, or disproven. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but that is the realm of philosophy and religion, not science. Again, I have nothing at all against those ways of thinking, but they are not scientific ways of approaching the world. Science is a set of processes and a way to organize data, experiments, observations, etc, that are wholly different from the world of religion and philosophy. If you want to call yourself a social science, you have to perform like one, just as sociology does. This is why I call their theories “just-so” stories. Nothing I read convinced me that they had discovered and proven or disproven their structures of thought and culture. They struck me as smart folks who have formed a model and had their observations fit into it. They are at the hypothesis, but never got to the theory.

As to the negativity of the discipline as it stands now, I do find their ideas extremely negative, especially in regards to free-will and striking back against oppression. Anyone who knows me also knows that I am a major believer in self-motivation and self-reliance. This is not to say that there are not horrible, repressive governments and people who deny others basic human rights – but think about that – basic human rights. In my world view that lacks uber-relativism, some things are simply wrong – murder, rape, torture, oppression of women and minorities, religious persecution, and religious prosecution of those with opposing beliefs, and I believe that all good people share this core set of values, and those that don’t are in it for power and control – and there are reasons why some people are sociopaths and other aren’t. Cultural Anthropology in its current form would say that there are just the opinions I’ve formed as part of my culture, and it is unfair to judge others by my standards. I disagree with that stance, and believe because we are a single biological species with common genetics and brain chemistry, that there is a baseline of human thought. Now, yes, culture makes things very very very different between (and amongst) groups, but this does not deny people their individuality. You’ll not find a person who is more of an individualist than me. Just like you can have two computers running very different software, they still perform the computations in the same way. I feel the same about the brain.

Cultural Anthropology talks a good game about power and agency, but with the expectation of a few activists, does nothing about it. It’s hard to rock the apple cart when you know if you do, you will never reach the Holy Grail of University tenure. Simply put, it’s far easier to complain from the grandstands than to play the game. You think something is wrong – fix it. Don’t sit in your corner being so self-reflexive that you may only think something is wrong because your cultural values make you think it is wrong. Even if that is the case (which I don’t think it is), who cares? If it is wrong, then damn it -- do something.

So, what do I do about Cultural Anthropology? How do I help fix what I see wrong in the discipline? Will I put my money where my mouth is? Sadly, I will walk away. There are times to fight and times not to fight, and if there is anything I’ve learned in school is that I am not cut out for academia. Not because I don’t do well in school – I do, and not because I don’t like to learn new things – I love that; but I find academia too confining in its approach, too parochial in its thinking, and too vindictive against those who do not share their core ideas. I continue to be fascinated by the mind, by culture, by people, but I will take a path independent of academia to further my interests.

(Cultural) Anthropology and its Obessesion With Post-Modernism

2009-04-23T12:39:00.000-05:00

One of the things I find so frustrating about Cultural Anthropology is its obsession with post-modernism's belief that there is no absolute truth, and it is only a construct of the observer. This is hogwash, in my opinion, and why I am on the Biological Anthropology side of the Four Fields. Talk to many and read many practicing cultural anthropologists today and the amount of hyper-relativism is downright annoying and depressing. There is such a degree of negativity in their work that it reaches levels of complete despair, and the abandonment of hard scientific principles makes their use of the word "theory" pointless. It is not theory; they are just-so stories.

So, I was happy to read this quote from an Archaeology Blog that I follow:

"As often mentioned here, I am no fan of post-modernist hyper-relativism. This is the idea that scientific truth is impossible and that all our ideas about the world are "socially constructed", that is, that people negotiate agreements about what the world is like and thus determine what is real. Being a realist, I am convinced that there is a single real world out there and that though not infallible, science is finding out a lot of true information about it. (Just as I am able to find out in a non-socially-constructed way whether there is any milk in the fridge.)"

Original post here: http://scienceblogs.com/aardvarchaeology/2009/04/ursula_leguin_and_the_post-mod.php

To quote his bio, "Dr. Martin Rundkvist is a Swedish archaeologist, journal editor, public speaker, skeptic, atheist, lefty liberal, bookworm, and father of two."

Now, I am an American anthropology student, IT Engineering Director, skeptic, non-practicing Christian, fiscal and governmental conservative / social liberal, bookworm, and father of one. Our politics are not the same, but to see a professional who believes in the worth of hard science in the discipline, and calls out the fallacy of post-modernism is very refreshing, and gives me both hope for the discipline, and the feeling that I did not waste the last 10 years of my life studying this field.

Alma Gave Us a Scare

2009-03-11T00:35:00.000-05:00

Alma gave us a scare today with a trip to the ER with bad troubles with her stomach and pain in her spine. After hours of blood tests, scans, and sitting around being sick while racking up the insurance charges, they sent her home with the stomach flu / food poisoning. After going through appendicitis with Erika when Arianna was a just month old and Ann's pancreatitis scare last year, I'm happy that it was just her being "regular" sick, even though that still stinks. Drink plenty of fluids and get better soon, Alma. We'll take you shopping to make you feel better. :)

Farwell Zig and Thanks

2009-02-20T22:26:00.001-06:00

I don't talk about my past much with others, especially that time after high school and before I met Erika (18-22). Life after high school was a bit rough for me in all departments from leaving Beloit College when I probably should have stayed to not knowing what to major in at UIC, to what I'll only call relationship confusion, let's just say that there isn't enough money in the world to make me want to relive those 4 years.

There was a good thing that happened then, though. Fresh out of high school with my newly minted Empehi diploma, I got a job through the City of Chicago's work study program as an intern at Navistar. It was $5.75 / hour for office work back when minimum wage was $4.25 / hour. It lasted the summer and I was an office clerk. When I left Beloit during orientation week (a long story that I doubt I'll ever tell), I called Navistar upon my return to see if there was any work. The International Operations Department needed a new accounting clerk and I needed a job. I interviewed and was hired that same day. On top on that, I got a raise to $8 / hour, which was a princely sum for me 15 years ago.

I worked with a great group of guys over there. They were all older (in their 50's and 60's) and had been in Corporate America for a long time. They were my practical business education as an 18 year old. There was my first boss, Chuck Goeken, head of the I.O. Accounting Team. There was Bud Cates, the chief export accountant. Ramona Chavolla, the secretary (they were still called secretaries then), who I sat next to, and there was Zig Balodis.

Zig came back as a contractor, too. He was the retired VP of finance for International Harvester’s Agricultural division before it was sold to Case (and became Case IH). He held other high level jobs at manufacturing firms, and was looking for a more laid back job while he waited for his wife, Lois, to retire. Zig was an immigrant from Latvia, whose family stayed ahead of the Nazis and immigrated to the U.S. after the War. He went to school in Iowa and got his Masters from the University of Chicago. He was well to do. I remember his impeccable monogrammed shirts and his love of wine more than anything.

At the time, I was poor and thought that anyone with money was a bad person. Even I went through a socialist phase, which my friends at Northeastern would find amusing, I am sure. I remember the first time I met Zig with his monogrammed shirt and talk of wine and thinking, oh boy, this doesn’t fit with a Marxist leaning teenaged me. But, Chuck, Bud, and I always went to lunch together, so when Zig came on board, he joined our lunch crew.

I quickly realized that I was wrong about Zig. HE became a great friend and mentor to me, and explained how things operated in business. He was also a self-made man. Life did not hand him an easy start, but he did not let that stop him from making a better life for him. He exuded calmness and unflappability that as a manger now myself, I realize is vital in surviving in business without sending yourself to an early grave. More than that, though, he encouraged me. When he saw I was down and had no hope for something better in life, encouraged me to go back to school, which I did at UIC, even though I meandered from major to major. When he saw my personal interest in computers and technology, he encouraged that as well. He invited me over to his home, where I got to help him with his computers and see that magnificent wine cellar that he was so proud of. He was always encouraging me. When Chuck retired and the new manager they brought in was destroying the department, he told me to get out. I was too young and my new boss would be gone soon.

I took that advice and left Navistar for a small pharmaceutical company where I did accounting and some IT work. Six months and one destroyed car later, Zig was right -- my new boss was fired and they called me and asked me to come back. I rejoined the accounting team, and when an opening popped up in the corporate Help Desk for a Help Desk Tech, he told me to apply. I did, and got the job. Taking that leap started me down the path, and here I am a decade later leading up my own motley crew of engineers at SAVO as Director of IT.

Zig retired not soon after I moved to Heidrick & Struggles in 2001. Navistar was moving from the NBC Tower to an office park in Warrenville and I needed to stay downtown and Zig didn't want to reverse commute to Warrenville. Before he left, I joined he and Bud for one last lunch together. It was one of those bittersweet times where I realized that these guys who had been my first coworkers and mentors for the past four years, that I would probably never see them again. And that is how it turned out to be.

Zig retired to a pair of houses in Arizona with his wife Lois. He and I remained pen-pals via the Internet, but as it happens, we lost touch of each other for awhile as email accounts and internet providers changed. We caught up again on Classmates, and he sent me an email. I responded back to him on January 26th filling him in on my life with Erika and Arianna, and how I had taken his advice to heart not to be afraid and it helped me advance my career and get my degree (well in 10 weeks that is).

I was surprised when I did not get a response from him. Then, in the mail, I got a letter from Lois. Zig had a hernia that ruptured on January 29th that sent him into a coma and killed him later on in the evening. It was crushing to get that letter. Lois also sent me a note that Zig had read my email and was so pleased at what had become of my life and he was going to write me back on the day that he died. My eyes tear up now thinking of him, and realizing that his death at the age of 69 makes me realize that 69 isn’t that old at old. Here is a man who had escaped the Nazis as a boy, and spent 45 years with his wife, made a great success of his life, and had touched many people I am sure.

My heart goes out to Lois, his wife and companion for all these many years. I wanted to thank Zig, wherever the universe takes us next, for being such a friend and mentor to me when I was a young man starting off in the world. Much of who I am today, an independent "Lincolnian" are due to his influence.

Thank you Zig. I bought a case of wine from Michigan this weekend, and in honor of your favorite passion, I shall raise a glass to you. Farewell my friend.

Arianna's Better, Mommy not so much / Valentine's Day

2009-02-12T19:17:00.000-06:00

Thanks to all the well-wishers who wished my little family a speedy recovery. Arianna's fever broke, and her temperature is back to normal. Her Mommy, Erika, not so much. She still has a bad cold (she always gets the worst colds), so keeping up with our little toddler is especially tough. Thank goodness for coffee and cold medicine. I seem to have missed catching whatever bug is going around. I think that since Erika is a stay-at-home mom right now and isn't exposed to germs as much, while I sit in a disease ridden office where the lady at the end of my row of cubes has been hacking a TB-like cough for 4 months, is the reason I've not caught it. My body is used to germs.

It makes me glad that we spent Valentine's Day Early. We went to see Clay Jenkins perform as Theodore Roosevelt last Friday evening with John Williams from WGN-AM as moderator over at Wabaunsee College in Sugar Grove. Yes, I am a history geek. It was great fun, even if Clay's voice gave out toward the end. For those of you who do not know, TR has close to a falsetto voice, and it is hard to duplicate. All in all, great fun for me and Erika liked it, too. She got her picture taken with John and Clay, and we both got autographs -- she of the playbill, and me of Clay's book of essays. Arianna stayed with her Tia Alma for the evening and when we went to pick her up afterwards she was sound asleep and had been a good girl.

The next day, with the weather absolutely gorgeous, I surprised Erika by taking her up to one of her favorite restaurants in New Buffalo, Michigan, El Rancho Grande. As you can tell by the name, it's Mexican. They have a taco called the Taco Duncan, which is made with carne asada, chorizo, bacon, jalapenos, onions, and a tortilla sautéed in red peppers. It is super tasty. Arianna contented herself on tortilla chips, rice, and refried beans.

Then, we drove over to the Lighthouse Outlets in Michigan City, Indiana, and Erika got a new Fossil purse and wallet for Valentines Day. She's a Fossil girl, and for someone e who doesn't buy a lot for herself, it was really nice to get her something she liked. Arianna wanted (and got) a toy camera at the soon-to-be shuttered K-B Toy Outlet store. There was nothing for me there, but that was OK, I knew what I wanted.

Yes -- I wanted more driving! We left Michigan City and drove back to Illinois and headed for Orland Park. We went to the Dick's Sporting Goods on LaGrange, and Erika got me what I wanted for Valentine's Day --- a new Leatherman knife. Nothing says "Love" like sharp stabbing instruments. My old Leatherman is ancient and was made before they had locking blades, and I hurt myself one time too many with it. Now I have a spiffy new Leatherman Wave with locking everything. As a Dad, a pocketknife with screwdrivers and scissors is invaluable. You never know when you have to put something together, fix something, or pull out a splinter. It's a great knife, thanks Kiki!

We rounded out the evening at Barnes & Noble, where we picked up a magazine for me, and headed on home. Arianna was pretty tired at this point, not sleeping much in the car since she was so excited. She collapsed on the drive back home from Orland, though. We got her home, changed her Pamper and put her to bed and then I read anthropology papers while Erika worked on her knitting. It was a great early Valentine's Day and the three of us had a great day.

I wish all of you a Happy Valentine's Day, too, with the ones you love.

p.s Happy 200th Birthday, Abraham and Charles!

Sick Family

2009-02-10T21:30:00.001-06:00

Arianna woke us up at 3:00AM crying. This is not unusual, since she's usually pretty wet at that hour, but went Erika went to get her, she was very hot. I was in a Benedryl-induced coma, but Erika got me awake enough to go get the thermometer. It was a fever of 102. I then stumbled around for baby Tylenol and a wet washcloth. Now, we are lucky, in that Arianna likes the taste of Tylenol, and after she took her medicine and got her head cooled off with the washcloth, we let her sleep between us. Around 5:00AM, we moved her back to her crib where she slept until 7:00.

At 7:00, she still had a fever, so it was more Tylenol. By this time, Erika's cold had gotten worse, so it was a call into work, and a day taking care of my two girls. Ari is not a lethargic patient; however, she was running around almost as much as she normally does. The only difference is that she wanted me to hold her for a nap, instead of napping in her crib.

Her temperature was down to 99.9 when we put her down in her crib tonight, so hopefully the fever has broken. I had to miss class tonight, but I know I can get notes from my friends (hint, hint). :) The nice thing with Lincoln's Birthday on Thursday, that means I have no more school for the week, and hopefully Arianna will sleep through the night and be better in the morning.

Catching up

2009-01-31T12:11:00.000-06:00

It's been a long time since I last posted. With Erika writing her her blog, I got lazy, since all I would babble about is Arianna, too! But, I'll write about my thoughts of our little Squiggly.

Arianna's made growing so fast. I took a look at the picture of her in the post below, and it is amazing how much she's grown. Here's a picture of us on Christmas Eve at the Museum of Science and Industry:

Once she became a full-time walker, she soon became a full-time runner. She loves her mobility. At first, we were worried about the snow, but she is a snow bunny. Getting to come inside is the tough part. She'll walk down the stairs if you hold her hand, and any change in direction, either up or down, is "Up".

That's a nice segue into her talking ability. She's a bilingual toddler. Words that she uses often are: "Up, huevo, juice, teta (bottle), please, shoes, socks, papa, and dada." She knows more than she can speak, and she's becoming a master of repetition. Start a sentence with, "Arianna, can you say..." and she'll do her best to repeat what you say. Sometimes she'll say multisyllabic words like "alphabet" (for her magnetic alphabet desk) to pampa-chay, (for pamper change). She will also use her linguistic skill to tell long stories to whoever will listen. She especially likes to talk about her day when Grandma and Grandpa visit.

Of all things, her favorite thing is books. She loves to be read to, and loves to "read". She definitely has her favorites, and likes different books at different times. For story time, she likes the "Gossie" series of book by Olivier Dunrea. Other times, she's in the mood for singing time, with books such as "I'm a Little Teapot" and "Peter Cottontail". When she is in the car, or when she is eating, she likes word books -- those books where it is pictures of objects with the label underneath them. She'll point to a picture to have you say the word, and then she'll repeat it. That can go on for a long time! Erika blames me for Arianna's need to read while she eats. What is even more fun to watch is that if I start singing a part of one of the books, she'll go to her bookcase and bring me the right book. If I say "Gossie", she'll bring one of the Gossie books over. When she reads a story book to herself, she goes page by page and babble reads. If it is a word book, she'll point and say single words, and if it is a song book, she'll sing in her own way. Think of a lot of "ooooh-oooooh-leeeew". It's very cute.

So, I am writing this while I am at work on a Saturday afternoon and it drives me nuts. Hopefully the building will have the water supply to the building fixed soon so that I can turn our servers back on and go home. We'll that's all for now, and I hope to write again soon.

Arianna's Blog

2008-09-10T16:37:00.000-05:00

Since I am a terrible, terrible blogger, Erika has created a new blog to discuss the interesting part of this boring man's life. Take a look at Arianna's Universe.

You Know You're a Dad in the Smokies When...

2008-04-30T23:18:00.000-05:00

We took our first family trip together last month to the Smoky Mountains. Arianna continues to rack up the miles for all the car trips we take her on, and she seems to have that Nelson wanderlust -- If we don't take her out, she gets cranky. She was great on the drive down and back, and through all the crazy mountain gravel road driving in-between.

Those of us Nelsons who enjoyed our Dad's leading us on those trips to the Smokies in the 70's and 80's will appreciate this picture. You know you're a Dad in the Smokies when you take your child to the Bud Ogle farm and follow along on the hiking trail while reading the guide pamphlet out loud to your captivated audience.

Busy Busy Busy

2008-04-30T22:54:00.000-05:00

Sorry that I have not written in awhile. Arianna is seven months old now, and she has a third tooth -- her upper left medial incisor. I would like to say that I have been busy with projects at work, and working through two upper-level anthropology courses at NEIU (Anthropology of Islam and Primate Behavior), but the truth is, Rev. Wright caught me. Like all white people, I am busy spreading AIDS to minorities when I am not busy chaining them up and selling them into slavery. I do all of this while not being able to keep up with my rhythmic clapping while marching perfectly erect in a marching band while over pronouncing all my vowels and consonants while speaking.

I just have one question for Rev. Wright -- Since my daughter is half-Hispanic (a minority), am I her father or her owner? Help me out here, man of God.

Squirrels

2008-02-20T22:47:00.000-06:00

Erika loves birds, and I love all non-human animals in general, so we feed a growing assortment of birds, squirrels, and rabbits who have made their home in our backyard. I know there a lot of folks who hate pigeons, raccoons, opossums, and squirrels, but I admire how they have survived in an urban environment. I am especially amused by this silly squirrel who makes a six foot leap from our deck to a bird feeder hanging out our kitchen window so he can get something to eat in these cold days in Chicago. Even more funny -- oftentimes the woodpeckers will eat the suet on the sides of the feeder, while the squirrel helps himself to the seed. Ah, seed is cheap, and all animals need to eat. So, here's to you, little flightless bat!

Teeth

2008-02-20T22:40:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago, Arianna decided that ever though she is only four months old, she would like to have some teeth. So, she now has her juvenile LI1's all through the gum line. (Those are the lower center incisors to you non-biological anthropologists out there.) Now, at five months, she feels that those two teeth are lonely, and her LI2's (the outer lower incisors) are starting to reach the gum line. She has quite a cute toothy grin these days.

I'd Like to be on the Moon

2008-02-20T22:34:00.000-06:00

Tonight there was the last lunar eclipse that we'll see up here in Chicago in about three years. It's cold outside, but the sky is clear, and I've had a nice view of it from outside my office window. It would be fun to be on the Moon right now, as a Lunar eclipse on Earth causes a Solar eclipse on the Moon. That would be quite a sight.

Arianna's Christmas Present

2007-12-26T16:16:00.000-06:00

Arianna gave us a great Christmas present today. Well, technically it's a Boxing Day present. I was playing with her this morning, and each time I pulled her up into a sitting position and asked her to say "Daddy", she started to laugh. It was the first time she's ever laughed! She repeated this about 10 times.

It was a great gift for Erika and for me. Nothing is better than being a Dad.

Not the Only Ones

2007-11-25T23:03:00.000-06:00

I still can't put into words what it feels like with Penny gone. I was reading 1up.com's blogs and one of the editors there had the same horrible Thanksgiving weekend that we did in loosing a cat. For those of you who don't have that special bond to animals, it is hard to understand. To me, it really is what defines being human. Anyway, I hope to put my Penny thoughts together to share what she meant to me and to Erika (especially for all of those years we were a childless couple), but in the meantime, here's a link to a blog that really helps express what we, too are feeling: Jeff Green's Blog on the loss of his cat.

Rest in Peace Penny

2007-11-24T14:08:00.000-06:00

Dedicated to the memory of the best feline friend a person could have ever asked for. Passed away due to congestive heart failure on Saturday, November 24, 2007. We shall miss you and hope that we will all be together again one day.

Erika Didn't Die

2007-10-20T11:31:00.000-05:00

Erika's appendix was 3-4 times larger than it should have been and it was hours for bursting -- but it did not. It was successfully removed and after a few days in the hospital with some complications, she is now back home. I am very glad that my wife isn't dead. Our daughter is, too.

Arianna's First Computer Words

2007-10-20T10:34:00.001-05:00

Arianna likes to sit on my lap while I use the PC, since I am on it so often for work. I was chatting with Ann, and she had this to offer:

Michael Nelson: nv mv xhdddddddd cccccccccdddddddddddddddddddddddddkllllllllllg vgfmmcccgb
Ann Nelson: arianna is that you?
Michael Nelson: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmjjjjjjjjjjmbn cn
Michael Nelson: hj\\

Life's turns

2007-10-15T22:43:00.000-05:00

Erika has a stomach ache on Sunday evening. By 1:00AM, she couldn't move or sit or stand without being in extreme agony. She drove herself to Christ Hospital's ER while I stayed home with Arianna. It's turned out to be appendicitis. My parents came over today and took Arianna and I went over to the hopspital. They removed her appendix this morning and she is OK. Hopefully, she'll come home tomorrow. Arianna misses her, and so do I.

Pictures

2007-09-24T14:24:00.000-05:00

Arianna is far more photgenic than I. Here are some pictures of her first five days of life (including shots of her Mom in labor from earlier on her birthday and Dad aftwerwards): http://picasaweb.google.com/mrmrnelson/Arianna

Culver's and Other Adventures

2007-09-24T14:10:00.000-05:00

Erika and I like to eat at Culver's. We also go to Target quite often to buy stuff for the house. And, we visit the Post Office to mail back our NetFlix disks. Now that Arianna is here, she gets to join us on our adventures. Here's her first trip to Culver's:

Not photographed are her trip to Target and the Post Office, with a detour to Jimmy Johns for a late evening sandwich.

Why Life's Worth Living

2007-09-19T03:06:00.000-05:00

Arianna Marie Nelson was born at 10:46PM, Tuesday September 18, 2007. She was 7 lbs 8 oz, and 21 inches long. There were some complications in that she swallowed her meconium in the womb so she was born non-crying and purple, with no movement. The OB/GYN started sucking out the gunk with only the head delivered so that she was still getting her nutrients from the umbilical cord. Then, after immediately after the full delivery the pediatricians on hand pumped out her stomach and started her breathing, and after a little time in the Nursery, she is OK now, as is Erika. Real vaginal birth is a lot more messy than what they show in the movies.

I couldn't stay the night, and just got home from watching the first breastfeeding. Mom and baby should be home on Thursday.

Baby Tomorrow

2007-09-17T21:33:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow morning, on September 18th, we are headed over to Christ Hospital where Erika is going to be induced. Sometime tomorrow we should be the proud parents of Arianna Marie Nelson. I sure she will be much more interesting than me.

My Camping Firsts

2007-09-17T21:09:00.000-05:00

Camping

I went camping about a month ago. I am not cut out for camping. I did experience a lot of firsts though:

First time riding as a passenger in a minivan.
First time having my bags stored in a storage canvas strapped to the top of the roof of a minivan.
First time sleeping with my brother in a twin sized bed.
First time pooping in an outhouse.
First time paddling a canoe.
First time portaging a canoe.
First time sleeping in a tent.
First time sleeping in a tent with my brother.
First time pooping a hole in a forest.
First time drinking water from a lake.
First time sleeping in complete silence.
First time having mice and chipmunks run over my tent at night.
First time guiding a canoe in by lamplight.
First time seeing a guy almost start a forest fire because he burned all of our kindling at once.
First time traveling with a chain smoker.
First time I've sat in a car where someone was smoking in it.
First time I went to Minnesota.
First time I've been to the Boundary Waters.
First time being chewed alive by horse flies.
First time wearing knee length wool socks with sandels to stop being eaten alive by horse flies.
First time dehydrated while paddling a canoe.
First time I saw more than one shooting star at night.
First time living off a sack of desiccated food. (It was heavy.)
First time I've stopped every 45 minutes on a 10 hour car trip.
First time riding 25 miles on a gravel road.
First time petting a one-eyed dog. (Ruby was sweet.)
First time I played with a forest cat. (She looked like Misty if Misty weren't Persian.)
First time I saw two men sleep together in a minivan.
First time I became angry with someone for his being able to kill a frog.
First time I have vacationed only with guys.
First time I've ever gone four days without a cold beverage.
First time I intentionally took Imodium as a preventive measure to keep me from having to poop again in a hole in the forest.
First time I camped with someone afraid of the dark.
First time I camped with someone who mistook chipmunks for bears.
First time I wished I would rather be at work than on a trip.
First time I've spent 5 days away from Erika when it wasn't a business trip.

There were some lasts:

Last time I'll camp only with guys.
Last time I'll portage a canoe.
Last time I'll stop every 45 minutes on a ten hour car trip.
Last time I'll go to the Boundary Waters.

And the biggest first:

When I got back from this trip (It cannot be called a vacation), I read a commentary by Garrison Keillor that was the first thing he has written where I couldn't stop laughing so hard, because it summed up the trip so well:

"What truly cheers me up through these dog days of summer is the thought that two old friends of mine are up north on a canoe trip in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area and that I am not there with them. I am here, reading the paper, and if I wanted to go to a movie, I could go, and if I wished to use a flush toilet, I could do that, too. But for the grace of God, I could be sitting on the ground, filthy, embittered, a homeless person, eating freeze-dried food and listening to the Master Woodsman tell you what a great experience you're having and meanwhile the woods are not lovely, just dark and deep, and a cloud of mosquitoes has come out to avenge the white man's colonizing of North America. I have been on canoe trips, I know what goes on.

Every canoe trip has a self-appointed Master Woodsman. In civilian life he may be a mild-mannered clerk in a cubicle, but out on the trail he is transformed into the song leader, pathfinder, the great helmsman, the tier of correct knots, and the authority on bears. He shows you how to do everything except the things you really need to do, such as 1) move your bowels in some dignified manner and 2) get out of here and find a hotel. Your body aches from sleeping on the ground, your bowels have turned to stone, and you are thinking about "Lord of the Flies" and what it says about the fragility of civilization, but he is relentlessly upbeat. And then it dawns on you: Your suffering is what turns him on. The man is a sadist." -- Garrison Keillor, "No wonder they called him Turd Blossom" August 15, 2007

Camping

2007-07-28T19:37:00.000-05:00

If you head over to my brother's blog (www.sybarite.us), you will read a well-written and thoughtful entry about an upcoming camping / fishing / hiking trip. I am also going on this trip. After reading brother Ron's blog, my wife became scared that I was not prepared for the trip. I suggested that I should buy some more life insurance before I go. She was upset with that idea, so I told her that I am prepared. I've got cardboard boxes and duct tape to make myself a nice camping shanty, garbage bags to carry my stuff, and I plan to go over to Jewel to steal a shopping cart to push it all through the woods. See -- I am all set.

Work

2007-07-28T19:34:00.000-05:00

I haven't written in a few days. Work's been pretty tough with a lot going on and some personnel issues to deal with. Anyone who says that if they won the lottery that they would go back to their job is a liar. Or a moron. Either way, they have my sympathy. Or contempt. I can't quite decide.

New glasses

2007-07-16T23:54:00.001-05:00

I was having trouble with the new pair of glasses I had gotten about two months ago. The right lens didn't focus quite right and I got sick of the larger lenses style that I have been wearing for about the past three years. So, I swapped them for a new pair of glasses with smaller lenses. My right eye feels better now.

My Bathroom

2007-07-16T23:28:00.000-05:00

By popular demand from my fan base, here are pictures of me mounting the new bathroom light, the finished product, and the patched hole where the old light used to dangle from.

p.s. I know the shower rod is crooked, the trim is crappy, and the wall paint color looks like Mylanta. Those are next on my list of things to fix.

New bathroom light

2007-07-15T22:36:00.000-05:00

In other exciting bathroom news, we had a light that was literally a cheap kitchen lamp dangling by a hook over our vanity. It wasn't an attractive light. Friend Graham came over this week and we installed a new octagon box in the middle of the bathroom and took down the old lamp. We then patched the hole where the old lamp once dangled. Today, I completed the work and mounted a new bathroom light. It is a far more attractive light and it makes it easier to read while on the throne, as it is also much brighter in there now.

Shaved my door

2007-07-15T22:32:00.000-05:00

My bathroom door is a cheap hollow core jobby that was sticking at the top. The end result is that each time you would open the door it would open with a loud KER-THUNK!!!!!!!! I used a hand-plainer and shaved the top right side of the door so that it now opens and closes silently. You can now poop in peace in my house. Maybe I'll replace the entire door one day.

White bread bowling

2007-07-13T15:24:00.001-05:00

My sister was telling me about the Lucky Strike bowling alley in downtown Chicago where they seem to be afraid of blacks, Hispanics, and Hasidic Jews:

I am a dull guy, but white bread bowling? And it runs $75 for 10 frames? Well, all I can say is "Fuck You, Khaki Pants Bowling Alley".

The Warriors can't come out to play at Lucky Strike.

My Dream Engineering Team

2007-07-13T12:45:00.000-05:00

I often dream of having a little person work on my Engineering Team. To have a little person and a giant working together would be my ultimate dream.

Scooped the litter

2007-07-12T18:27:00.000-05:00

I have three cats. This leads to having three litter boxes. Since Erika is pregnant, I have to scoop them. The cats make a lot of poop and it smells, but they are happy after it is scooped. All the dust from the litter makes me sneeze, so I should wear a mask when I do it. I didn't do that tonight and now I am sneezing. I guess I should go find a box of tissue.

I like to watch Fantasy Island

2007-07-12T16:29:00.001-05:00

Comcast On Demand has Fantasy Island in their Tube Time section. I like to watch it so here's a picture of Ricardo and Herve.

People are dumb

2007-07-12T16:24:00.000-05:00

I was in a really dull meeting this afternoon with a prospective customer's IT department. They seemed like really dumb people who work for a really large financial institution. I came to the conclusion that when you work for a Fortune 50 corporation, getting a lobotomy must be part of the compensation package. Oh well, the meeting put me one hour closer to the sweet release of death.

Another boring day

2007-07-12T14:00:00.000-05:00

This morning I ate three bowls of Wheaties for breakfast. I used Oberweis 2% milk and raw cane sugar. We then drove to work. I dropped off Erika at her job and parked downtown to go to an 8:00AM two hour meeting. After the meeting I did some work. Then I went to lunch and ate a carbon chicken burrito. After lunch I read some email and am going to go to another meeting this afternoon. Tonight, I am going to put a new light up in the bathroom.

I am a slow blogger

2007-07-11T22:43:00.000-05:00

Well, I am not one to post very often, mainly because unlike my Father-in-Law, I am the Least Interesting Man in the World.